Five Years Later was my first ever posted story. It was removed from FF.net and Stars (then TWCS, I'm pretty sure) in August of 2015. Eventually, after this story has a major overhaul, I do intend to repost it. But for now, this is a comparison of the prologue from when I first wrote this story ten years ago, to my current edited version.
Prologue - Ten Years Ago
I tensed for the spring, my eyes squinting as I cringed away, and the sound of Edward’s furious roar echoed distantly in the back of my head. His name burst through all the walls I’d built to contain it. Edward, Edward, Edward. I was going to die. It shouldn’t matter if I thought of him now. Edward, I love you.
He was at my side in an instant. He grabbed my hair pulling my head to the side as he forced me to the ground. His teeth sunk into my neck, and the searing pain was instant. I suddenly heard a loud crash right next to my ear. I forced my eyes open and saw the wolves ripping at Laurent. The pain of the fire burning through me on the inside was making it impossible for me to understand what was happening in front of my eyes.
One of the wolves ran off. A few moments and Jacob came running into the clearing. I wanted to yell at him to run away. But I couldn’t it was taking all my energy to not start screaming in agony. Jacob ran straight over to me. He bent down next to my head and saw the wound.
He turned around and faced the wolves. “Now she’s changing, we shouldn’t have waited till he bit her.” He yelled at them.
The black wolf turned towards us and growled.
Suddenly Jacob took up a defensive position. “No, she won’t pay for your mistake Sam. I will not allow her to die just because you wouldn’t do what’s right and attack before that leech attacked.”
Then my vision blurred and I couldn’t hear there argument anymore. The only sensation I had was the pain of the fire burning through every ounce of my body.
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Prologue - after revisions today
I tensed for the spring, my eyes squinting as I cringed away, and the sound of Edward’s furious roar echoed distantly in the back of my head. His name burst through all the walls I’d built to contain it. Edward, Edward, Edward. I was going to die. It shouldn’t matter if I thought of him now. Edward, I love you.
Laurent was at my side in an instant, grabbing my hair and pulling my head to the side as he forced me to the ground. His teeth sunk into my neck and the searing pain of a fire I recognized all too well was instantaneous.
I suddenly heard a loud crash right next to my ear so I forced my eyes open, seeing through blurred eyes as a group of massive wolves ripped at Laurent. The pain of the fire burning through me was making it impossible for me to fully understand what exactly I was seeing – other than the fact that part of me knew it was completely impossible.
One of the wolves ran off and a few moments later Jacob came running into the clearing. I wanted – needed even – to yell at him to run away but I couldn’t as it was taking every ounce of my will to not start screaming in agony. Jacob ran straight over to me, bending down next to my head. I was pretty sure his hand briefly touched my neck but couldn't actually feel it.
He turned around in a move so fast that my pained focus was completely unable to catch, facing the wolves. “Now she’s changing, we shouldn’t have waited till he bit her,” he yelled at them in anger.
I was relatively certain if my face wasn't already contorted in pain than it would be contorting in confusion instead. How could he know?
The black wolf turned towards us and growled.
Suddenly, Jacob took up a defensive position. “No, she won’t pay for your mistake, Sam. I will not allow her to die just because you wouldn’t do what was right and attack before that leech bit her.”
Then my focus gave out and my vision completely blurred out as well as any other knowledge of the world around me. The only sensation I had was the pain of the fire burning through every inch of my body.
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