Life and Death Characters - Casting Call

For the most part, I have avoided trying to put face to names. In large part, this because many of the characters from Life and Death. A few days ago though, I got into a conversation with a which led to us talking about some of the Cullen household and what they might look like. Since then I've worked to put faces to names. I'd already matched faces for Beau, Edythe, and Julie, but the rest of the Cullens I hadn't.

I sort of doubt I'll do it for other characters, below are Beau, Julie, and the whole Cullen Clan

Beau was described when he was human as being tall, broad-shouldered, and blue-eyed. After too many hours looking through far too many actors to mention, I finally found Luke Bilyk. I admit, he's a little too old, but I do believe he is a good match.

We never got an official description of Julie after she because a shifter, but my assumption is the females are similar to the males from the original saga, both shooting up in height, and losing they're baby fat, etc. As such, Devery Jacobs felt like a very good fit. 

Edythe was described with the same copper hair as Edward had. And no matter who the movies selected, to me 'copper hair' is more red than brown. Also, based on her general description, I belie Katherine McNamara is the best match

It was harder for me to find genderswapped characters for the rest of the Cullens. But I finally decided on Brooklyn Decker for Carine and Armie Hammer for Earnest.

Kenton Duty as Royal and Kalia Prescott as Eleanor

Cameron Ocasio as Archie and McKenna Knipe as Jessamine

Life and Death Continuation Banner

As everyone knows, I almost always make my own banners for my stories. They may not be the best in the world, but it's just part of my process. However, a few days ago, I commissioned a banner for my Life and Death Continuation as whole. One that used specific people, which tends to be a bit beyond my capabilities. 

Today, I got the finished piece that was made by Bee Masen for this. 

The people I chose for characters are Devery Jacobs as Julie Black, Luke Bilyk as Beaufort Swan, and Katherine McNamara as Edythe Cullen

Running on Empty

I've spent over eight hours staring blankly at my computer screen and even though I know where I want my stories to go, can see it my mind and know the general themes, plots, etc for the continuation of my stories... the words just aren't typing. The truth of the matter is that I've put well over five hundred thousand words down that I've posted between last June and now and it's starting to wear on me. My creativity level is running on empty as a result.

I'm going to keep to trying to make myself write because I want to complete my stories, but fair warning, unless I can dig deep and force a second wind... there's going to be slow chapters ahead.

The Characters of the Continuation of Life and Death

My continuation of Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined by Stephenie Meyer, which consists of Death and Rebirth, Rebirth and Affliction, and finishes with Affliction and Life, follows the same idea as Life and Death, in that almost all characters needed to be gender-swapped. Below is a list of all the characters with both the original and the change

no marker = The name given by Stephenie Meyer
* = my name of choice
ⱷ = has ability

CHARACTERS

HUMANS

• Amanda Reed = Arthur Reed*
• Amber = Sal
• Angela Weber = Allen Weber
• April = Arturo*
• Ashley Dowling = Ashford Dowling*
• Austin Marks = Audra Marks*
• Beaufort Higginbotham = unchanged
• Ben Cheney = Becca Cheney
• Beth Crowley = Benton Crowley*
• Bob Banner = Mrs. Banner
• Brett Warner = Brenda Warner*
• Charles Evanson = Charlene Evanson*
• Charlie Swan = unchanged
• Charlotte Gerandy = Charles Gerandy*
• Coach Clapp = Coach Clapp
• Conner = Colleen
• Cynthia Brandon = Clark Brandon*
• Deputy Mark = Deputy Mary*
• Deputy Steve = Deputy Silvia*
• D.J. Garrett = Deidra Garrett*
• Dr. Gerandy = Dr. Gerandy*
• Dr. Snow = Dr. Snow
• Edward Masen Sr. = Edythe Masen Sr.*
• Elizabeth Masen = Edward Masen*
• Eric Yorkie = Erica Yorkie
• Francesco Solimena = unchanged
• Geoffrey Swan = unchanged
• Gustavo = Genova*
• Harold Greene = Henrietta Greene*
• Helen Swan = unchanged
• Henry = Henrike*
• Isaac Weber = Isis Weber*
• J. Jenks = Janice Jenks*
• Jeff = Jack* (still a guy)
• Jennifer Ford = Jeffery Ford*
• Jessica Stanley = Jeremy Stanley
• John = Joan*
• John Dowling = Janet Dowling*
• Joshua Weber = Josie Weber*
• Julia Hammond = Mr. Hammond
• June Richardson = Juan Richardson*
• Karen Newton = Karl Newton*
• Katie Marshall = Kane Marshall*
• Kaure = Katsu*
• Lauren Mallory = Logan Mallory
• Lee Stephens = Leann Stephens
• Lonnie = Lottie*
• Lizzie = Lawson*
• Marie Higginbotham = unchanged
• Max = Maxine*
• Mike Newton = McKayla Newton
• Mr. Berty = Mrs. Berty*
• Mr. Jefferson = Mrs. Jefferson*
• Mr. Mason = Ms. Mason
• Mr. Newton = Mrs. Newton*
• Mr. Varner = Ms. Varner
• Mr. Weber = unchanged
• Mrs. Goff = Mr. Goff
• Mrs. Stanley = Mr. Stanley*
• Mrs. Weber = unchanged
• Omar Jenks = Opal Jenks*
• Perrine Buyure = Penny Bruyure*
• Phil Dwyer = unchanged
• Renee Dwyer = unchanged
• Rob Sawyer = Rhonda Sawyer*
• Robert Walsh = Roberta Walsh*
• Royce King II = Rowena King
• Samantha Well = Sean Well
• Shelley Cope = Mr. Cope
• Tyler Crowley = Taylor Crowley
• Unnamed son of Esme = Grace
• Vera = Vaughn*
• Whitney = Whitcomb*

Quileutes (includes humans and shape-shifters)

• Billy Black = Bonnie Black
• Brady Fuller = Brandy Fuller*
• Claire Young = Clay Young*
• Collin Littlesea = Colette Littlesea*
• Connie Black = Connor Black*
• Embry Call = Embrianna Call*
• Emily Young = Elliott Young
• Harry Clearwater = Holly Clearwater
• Jacob Black = Julie Black
• Jared Cameron = Jaelyn Cameron*
• Joshua Uley = Jordan Uley*
• Kevin Littlesea = Kelly Littlesea*
• Kim = Kirk*
• Leah Clearwater = Leland Clearwater
• Paul Lahote = Paula Lahote
• Quil Ateara III = Quilla Ateara III*
• Quil Ateara V = Quilla Ateara V
• Rebecca Black = Aaron Black
• Rachel Black = Adam Black
• Sam Uley = Samantha Uley
• Sarah Black = George Black
• Seth Clearwater = Sarah Clearwater
• Sue Clearwater = Saul Clearwater
• Tiffany Call = Timothy Call*

Ancestors

• Ephraim Black = Emmaline Black*
• Kaheleha = Kahlilia*
• Levi Uley = Lexi Uley*
• Quil Ateara II = Quilla Ateara II*
• Taha Aki = Tahiya Aki*
• Taha Wi = Tahiya Wi*
• The Third Wife = The Third Husband*
• Utlapa = Uttara*
• Yaha Uta = Yahaira Uta*
• Yut = Yukina*

Cullens

• Alice Cullen = Archie Cullen ⱷ
• Carlisle Cullen = Carine Cullen
• Edward Cullen = Edythe Cullen ⱷ
• Emmett Cullen = Eleanor Cullen
• Esme Cullen = Earnest Cullen
• Isabella Swan = Beaufort Swan ⱷ
• Jasper Hale = Jessamine Hale ⱷ
• Rosalie Hale = Royal Hale
• Renesmee Carlie Cullen = XXXXX

Amazons (includes a human and hybrids)

• Huilen = unchanged
• Jennifer = unchanged
• Joham = unchanged
• Kachiri = Kamali*
• Maysun = unchanged
• Nahuel = unchanged
• Pire = unchanged
• Senna = Seneca*
• Serena = unchanged
• Zafrina = Zafrin* ⱷ

Denalis

• Carmen = Cameron*
• Eleazar = Elena ⱷ
• Garrett = Gabrielle*
• Irina = Ivan
• Laurent = Lauren
• Kate = Kirill ⱷ
• Sasha = Sampson*
• Tanya = Taavi*
• Vasilii = Valerie*

Egyptians

• Amun = Amiyah*
• Benjamin = Bernadine* ⱷ
• Kebi = Kerem*
• Tia = Taj*

Irish

• Liam = Lana*
• Maggie = Magnus* ⱷ
• Siobhan = Siddhartha* ⱷ

Mexicans

• Benito = Benita*
• Lucy = Lucas*
• Maria = Marcel*
• Nettie = Navarro*

Newborns

• Adam = Ada*
• Bree Tanner = Bradley Tanner*
• Dean = Denise*
• Diego = Deanna*
• Doug = Dolores*
• Fred = Freya* ⱷ
• Heather = Homer*
• Jim = Jeannette*
• Jen = Joel*
• Kevin = Kendra*
• Kristie = Kristopher*
• Logan = Lorena*
• Raoul = Raya* ⱷ
• Riley Biers = Raven Biers*
• Sara = Stan*
• Shelly = Sherman*
• Steve = Stacy*
• Warren = Wanda*

Nomads

• Alistair = Alison* ⱷ
• Charles = Charity* ⱷ
• Charlotte = Carlson*
• Cold Man = Cold Woman*
• Cold Woman = Cold Man*
• James = Joss ⱷ
• Makenna = Malik*
• Mary = Marvin*
• Peter = Peggy*
• Randall = Reyna*
• Victoria = Victor

Romanians

• Stefan = Stefania*
• Vladimir = Vasilisa*

Volturi (includes a human)

• Afton = Anastasia*
• Alec = Jane* ⱷ
• Aro = unchanged ⱷ
• Athenodora = unchanged
• Caius = unchanged
• Chelsea = Clarence* ⱷ
• Corin = Corbin* ⱷ
• Demetri = Demeter* ⱷ
• Didyme = unchanged ⱷ
• Felix = Fahima*
• Gianna = Gavin*
• Heidi = Hammond* ⱷ
• Jane = Alec* ⱷ
• Marcus = unchanged ⱷ
• Mel = Mele ⱷ
• Renata = Reinaldo* ⱷ
• Santiago = Sandra*
• Sulpicia = unchanged ⱷ

Post # 100

So I'm doing a little dance because I'm actually up to post 100...

Now then, that is out of the way.

Below is a short lost moment from Archie's POV. This is something I swore I'd never do, simply because he knows too much, but this small scene allows you to have a tiny look into Archie's thought process and desperation as he realizes he messed up. 

A Death and Rebirth Lost Moment - Archie's Arrival

I was going to be too late to save Beau and I knew it, but I had to try because he was my brother, because I loved him, and because he was Edythe's mate. 

I'd stayed away, even after I realized our leaving was having lasting consequences for Beau, even after I'd watched him almost kill a camper and later a sales clerk in Seattle - in all honesty, I wouldn't have blamed him if the clerk had bit it. I'd watched as Edythe's future became more and more bleak, but still I'd done nothing, because I had known if I'd interceded than everything we'd worked so hard for would be a bust. 

It had to be Beau or Edythe who made the first move and not me. It simply had to be. 

Then I saw Beau's fight with Victor. I saw the pyre. So I'd boarded the next plane after telling Royal to keep his mouth shut until I confirmed everything. The visions had been far too immediate and I knew I was going to be too late, but I still had to try. After all, if Beau died than Edythe would surely follow. Losing even one of them would destroy our family permanently... and I didn't need the crystal ball that was my brain to know if we lost both than it would decimate everything. Earnest, Carine, Eleanor, Royal - they would all die one at a time, either a true death or an emotional one, if such an event occurred. And after they were gone, it would destroy Jessamine and I as well. So I had to try.

But, I was going to be too late.

Even as I got in Carine's Mercedes to drive from the airport to Forks, I could already see my future of looking into the sky and finding the purple billows. I could already see myself finding Beau's letter. I could see the last lines in it clearly stating he wasn't expecting to survive. I pushed the accelerator down even harder, trying to be faster than the future I knew I would find upon my arrival. 

The Position Behind My Continuation of Life and Death

So, as I opened up Death and Rebirth: New Moon Reimagined, I tried to imagine what would have happened after Life and Death now that Beau was a vampire. Especially if I followed the general plotline of the rest of the Twilight Saga. This brought forth a number of challenges. 

In the original Twilight Saga, it is this really sappy teenage love story with small hints at deeper meanings and thought processes. The first time I read the complete saga, I read it in much that way - as a sappy teenage love story.

But I needed to find more meaning, more depth, than just that. So I read it again, and again, and again (you get the picture). A little background on me is that I'm a lawyer with a major in psychology. So to put that into perspective, I need to suss things out, need to analyze, over analyze, and ultimately understand every little detail of something I become obsessed with. This would be why I've read the Twilight Saga well over twenty times. I could go in depth into my thoughts on Bella, Edward, Jacob and the other characters in the Twilight Saga (in fact I probably will, in some other post(s)), but that's not the purpose of this post.

The Twilight Saga has a lot of different changes that happen to the characters, but it never goes into detail on the changes. The focus wasn't on the character growth, the emotional development, or the maturing of the characters in general. It was all there, in the background, but it wasn't a focus. Instead, the focus was on a sappy teenage romance that had no morality or anything else behind it.

So going into my stories, I wanted the characters to still have that ultimate sappy romance, but I wanted there to be reason behind it, I wanted people to actually see the growth of the characters. The problem is that the main characters, Beau and Edythe, are both vampires, both turned at seventeen. So barring major influence they can't change. A "real life" romance would never survive if all it was was an early stage first love with no depth behind it.

Because of the way vampires are in the Twilight universe, Beau isn't just going to wake up one day and be a mature adult (he can't sleep), Edythe would never instantly move away from that overprotective vampire faze. There are a lot of psyche flaws - for a lack of a better word - in both of the main characters. And since vampires are stuck in their ways and almost never change without major things happening, it makes it difficult to have these characters grow.

For Edythe, walking away from Beau because she believed it would save him and then believing he was killed has helped her to grow into a more mature woman, watching him walk away and actually be with Jules - at least for a short while - made her come even farther into her own. Obviously, Beau didn't get to see most of that growth as he wasn't there for it, but it's hinted at through the first half of Rebirth and Affliction. The thing with Edythe though is that she was no longer a child when she was turned. In the early 1900s a seventeen year old would most likely already be at that point where they're starting to be courted, where they're learning to be a homemaker, learning how to raise children, and more. Edythe wouldn't have quite been an adult when she was turned, but she definitely wasn't what we consider to be as a typical teen in today's terms

Beau, on the other hand is more of a typical teenager. He's just a seventeen year old boy who was turned at that cusp of adulthood.  He didn't grow up in a time of war, disease and/or depression, he never had that kind of experience. He never truly had a chance to grow up at all. (Born middle age and all that be damned, he's still a kid). To top all of that off, he was stubborn as hell when he was human so that comes through in spades now that he's a vampire. As a result, Beau's journey is more difficult. It takes multiple metaphorical 4x4's whacking him over the head to get him to grow.  Having him deal in depression, anger, bloodlust, and more have helped to develop the backbone behind that growth. As we go into the second half of Rebirth and Affliction, the final major metaphorical 4x4 will hit him. It's that one, the major one actually, that will finally break through that stubborn wall in his mind.

There's more to these stories than just that emotional growth, but that particular part of the stories is about to hit it's climax, at least where Beau and Edythe are concerned (Jules growth is still to come).  

Hopefully I have done justice to the struggles, setbacks, and general state of continuity that will allow these characters to truly find love, respect and happiness in the long run.

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part XIX~

When she didn't respond to my question in too long of a time I ran my hands through my hair and walked even further away from her. 

The way Beau and Edythe both acted made them two peas in a bloody pod. I snorted.

I started to think, started to try and figure out another option since plan a wasn't going to work. I just wasn't sure I'd be able to help Beau, not this time...

"Who says he needs help? He just needs time," Edythe demanded, poking around in my brain again. 

"Trust me, he needs help. You don't get it, why he came to me, He wanted me to -" I stopped talking, shutting the thought off cold.

I could feel her staring a hole in my back. "What did he want you to do?"

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter. Okay, look. If you aren't going to come now, then don't come. Period. He needs something steady at this time that will help him to get back on his feet. I'm pretty sure I can do it... if you don't interfere."

"What? First you want me to come get him and now you want me out of your way." 

Edythe didn't say it out loud, but I could practically hear the jealous accusation again. 

I turned to look at Edythe. "Look, it isn't forever, but if you aren't going to come get him now because you want to prove that you trust him -" I snorted, I was more of a hold tight and never let go kind of girl, myself "- then you're going to have to actually trust him and give him time to come back to you. Most likely he'll be back in less than three months. He doesn't... love me. Not really. He loves you though and he will come back to you." It killed me to say that, but I knew I was right.

I walked back over to my bike and got on my bike. "I'm serious. Come to La Push today or tomorrow or give him space. It's your choice, but I'd choose the former if it was me."

I started the bike and drove away, not waiting on an answer. 

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part XVIII~

"Why don't you get it? Beau's a runner. It's a typical attribute of men... some women to, but that's besides the point." Like the woman in front of me who took off the moment the going got tough and it started to look like rough seas ahead. 

Edythe snarled at me.

"Your letter was cruel enough to keep him from chasing you back in September, but you needed to be chased just as much as he needs it now. It's not like you have to go very far either. He's just a few short miles away. Go get him and convince him to come home."

"Our problem has always revolved around trust, not some stupid need to be caught. He promised he'd come back on his own. If I go to him now and ask him to return with me than I'm completely destroying that trust. I'll lose him for sure then. Or is that what you want? So you get some easy in with him after driving me away from him."

"Is your jealousy making you so blind that you can't see what the boy you claim to love really needs?" I spat angrily.

"He needs for me to trust and respect him." 

I threw my hands up in disgust at her words. "No. What he needs is to know that he's loved. That he's wanted. Even as he is now... especially as he is now." 

"Maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do, because he knows I love him."

I walked away from her to keep myself from punching the stubborn vampire. I turned back towards her. "Look, maybe he does know it here -" I patted my own chest. "- but does he know it here?" I tapped on my brain.

Edythe narrowed her eyes at me.

To be continued...

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part XVII~

I could have shifted and ran through the forest to get to the Cullens, but I ended up riding my motorbike to their place instead. I'd needed the time just to clear my mind as I still wasn't sure what I was going to say to them, and more specifically to Edythe. 

I started thinking about the patrols to keep Edythe out of my head when I got within what I believed to be her range of hearing. Even so, when I arrived at their house, she was waiting outside for me. 

"Why'd you ride to our place today?" Edythe asked, her eyes narrowed at me like she was trying to dissect some sort of problem.

"Beau's back." I refused to think ahead, trying to focus on anything but what I was going to have to tell her - and by extension the six others that were probably in the house eavesdropping.

"What? When?" Edythe asked, louder than necessary. 

"He showed up a few hours ago in La Push." Well, he waited for to come get him at the old border actually.

Edythe latched onto my errant thought. "Why did he wait for you at the treaty line?"

I remembered his red eyes even though I didn't want to. "I think he came looking for something. Maybe it was something that I'm not going to do, or maybe it's something that I actually can do. I don't know." I shook my head, working hard to not think the real reason why he'd come to me - what he'd really wanted me to help him with. "But, I'm pretty sure I'm not the one he actually needs, Edythe. I think - and you know exactly how much I hate saying this - but I think you should go to La Push and get him. Today."

Edythe frowned at me, not saying anything for a few seconds before finally responding, "He promised me he'd come back to me someday on his own and that he just needed time to think and sort out his life. If he went to you, he must believe that you are part of what he needs."

I let out an annoyed snarl at her words

To be continued...

For the record, there are only a two or three more pieces to this serial at the most. 

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part XVI~

I arrived at Sam and Elliott's without any issues, quickly walking up to the front door and knocking on the door. 

I had barged in in the past without a specific request, but figured I owed a little bit of courtesy to her given what I was about to tell her. It wasn't going to change the fact that I was going to say it, but I felt guilty all the same.

It took a minute but Sam finally opened the door.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Beau's come back. He's staying at my cabin. The only reason I'm notifying you is his eyes are a little -" a lot "- red at the moment. He made a mistake while he was away and he feels terrible about it." In fact, he wanted to die because of it, but I wasn't about to tell Sam that. "It wasn't anyone local, the person wasn't even on this continent. I know it goes against our beliefs, but I won't allow him to be killed just because he made a mistake." Or four, but I didn't see the point in sharing that detail. "He just needs time to get back on his feet."

Sam crossed her arms over her chest. "And if I disagree with your assessment?"

"Then you'll do what you have to. And I'll respond accordingly. Just know you won't like the price for harming him." I crossed my arms over my chest in mimicry of her.

"When are you going to stop protecting him?" Sam snarled.

"Look, if he attacks or kills anyone else then I'll handle him myself. But I won't condemn him to death for a mistake made halfway around the world. Especially since if he'd waited only a couple of weeks to come back none of us ever would have known. He came to get help. Let me do that."

Sam didn't say anything for a minute before finally grunting and shutting her door in my face.

To be continued...

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part XV~

"Look, I don't expect Beau to try anything," I said to Lee when he finally arrived. "But he might. He's not..." I looked for the right word before finally giving up and shrugging. "Stable at the moment. I don't want him to do something he'll regret later so if it looks like he might then stop him, no matter what it takes to do it." Internally I shuddered at what I was telling Lee, but Beau could heal - not that that made it any better. 

"But why?" Lee asked in confusion, crossing his arms over his shirtless chest. He could get away with it because he was a guy - and it wasn't the first time since he joined the pack that I wished society thought of topless women in the same way they did men. 

"You'll see when you go in the cabin. I have a couple of things I have to take care of and then I'll be back to relieve you," I stated, completely avoiding answering his question. 

His brown knitted together for a minute before he finally muttered, "Okay." 

"I'll be back."

I turned and walked away from him, heading towards La Push so I could go to Elliott's. I knew it was where Sam was supposed to be. 

I made it my business to know here schedule so we could avoid each other as much as possible. The truth was, it was as much a part of why I'd started rooming in the little cabin as the need to be away from my overbearing mom was. Two alpha's couldn't reside comfortably in the same space - especially a space as small as La Push - so I'd tried to put some much needed distance between us... not that it did much good when I constantly had to involve her. 

There was no avoiding it though. Especially not at this current time. 

To be continued...

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part XIV~

I shifted into my wolf form landing on all fours only to be immediately assaulted by three different mental voices.

Screw you, brother!

Why don't you go home and sleep already?

Oh my god, would you both shut up!

This is between me and my sister!

Stay out of it, Embrianna!

QUIET! 

The mental ping pong between Sarah and Lee was a constant when they were both patrolling at the same time and it often forced me to do things I didn't particularly enjoy doing, like making lots of orders. 

Lee, I need you to come to my cabin and watch Beau. If he tries to leave or if some human actually is stupid enough to go that far into the woods then I need you to stop him by any means necessary. Up to and including dismemberment. Just no burning him allowed.

I could feel Embrianna's shock at my words, but I kept myself from thinking on Beau's eyes by focusing on the inner turmoil in my pack. 

Sarah, go home and shift back so you can start on your homework. You've done enough patrolling. Embrianna, go pair up with one of Sam's pack and patrol with them. 

None of them made any move to follow my instructions. 

Do I need to make them alpha orders???

Sarah took off towards her house and Embrianna raced off to find one of Sam's pack while Lee headed my way. 

I'll explain in more detail in human form when you get here, Lee.

I shifted back to my human form and quickly redressed. 

To be continued...

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part XIII~

I dragged Beau along through the forest until we reached my cabin, and I quickly ran through viable explanations for why my scent was everywhere in the area.

"I... umm... stay here from time to time -" in fact, I hadn't been at my mother's house in over two weeks, I saw no point in mentioning that "- but this is just an abandoned cabin, officially. It's part of my ancestor's property. My second great-grandmother's cabin, actually. Anyways, I think it will be a good place for you to stay. At least for now."

I waited for Beau to call me out on my lie. I wasn't all that good at lying to him to begin with and he was a vampire. I was sure my heart rate had picked up, if nothing else.

He just nodded his head though, accepting my explanation without any kind of disbelief on his part. 

I wanted to scream at him to act like my Beau, to notice the fact that I was lying to him and to call me out on it the way he was supposed to. I wanted to pummel my fists against his chest and beg him to snap the hell out of it. I wanted to make him act the right way again. But I swallowed it all down, because he was here, and as long as he was here, I could fix it. I'd fixed him before - after they'd abandoned him - and though this time the damage was clearly of his own making, I could do it again. I would do it again... because he was my friend... because I loved him... because someone had to.

It hadn't escaped my notice that Archie - the psychic - hadn't shown up.

"There's a small cot in the cabin, a chair, a table, and a small dresser. Why don't you go inside? I need to shift and tell the others that you're going to be staying here for awhile and also tell them about your... minor slip ups." I grimaced at the words, but I refused to admit - even to myself - that they were anything else. 

"Okay," Beau agreed softly. 

He seemed hundreds of miles away... if he was human I think I'd call him a vegetable. The lights were on, there was even someone answering the door, but whoever that someone was... it wasn't him. 

I forced those thoughts away as well, instead shoving him toward the cabin door and waiting until he went inside before I yanked my top off and shimmied out of my shorts to shift so I could get Lee over here to watch him so I could go talk to Sam... and the Cullens. I wasn't sure which conversation I was actually dreading more. 

To be continued...

A Black Decision Banner

No official update to the serial today, but I thought I'd post the banner that I made for the missing moment.

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part XII~

"What?" he asked as he looked at me suddenly.

"Do you think it would be easier for Sam to kill you than me? We both know you, we have both humanized you... the rest of the Cullens too, to some extent."

"Then I'll leave."

"You should leave and go home. But you won't. Because if you had any intention of going back to them, you'd already be there and not here. The question is why. I've spent enough time with them in the last weeks that I know they'd forgive you for killing a few humans. So what else did you do while you were gone?" I had to ask, because I knew Beau, and it wasn't the death of four humans that had driven him here. It was something else.

He opened his mouth but shut it a moment later as he looked away again.

Interesting. And by that I meant disturbing as hell. "You aren't going to tell me, are you?"

He shook his head fiercely.

"Whatever you did, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think. If I, a shape-shifter who values all human life – even when they are creeps – can forgive you for running off for a few weeks and just being a normal vampire, then they can forgive you for whatever you think you did."

Or it was so bad he knew that if he actually said it that I'd be forced to kill him and he truly didn't want to die. I didn't know which idea made me want to throw up more.

When he didn't reply, I sighed. "Come on... Stay the day with me."

I stepped forward, once again taking his hands.

To be continued...

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part XI~

"Julie, you don't want to know that kind of info." His voice practically begged me to drop it, but should have known I wasn't going to.

I glowered at him. "You're right, I don't, but you came here because you wanted me to kill you. So tell me why. Make me believe that you truly are nothing but a monster now. Mind you, monsters don't have consciences." It was the exact opposite of what I wanted him to do, of course.

"I was here for Sam. I didn't want you involved."

He really expected me to believe that?

"If that was true you would have gone to Elliott's place, or at the very least you would have tracked down one of her pack. You told Quilla though. You knew you'd get me."

"No, I just –"

I cut him off, my voice half of a snarl. "Yes, you did. I'd ask if this was about Edythe, except I've been at the Cullens every single day and know she's been worried sick about you."

"Why have you been there every day?" he asked in confusion.

"At first, because I was worried when you didn't show up the way I expected you too. Also though, you may have decided to flee the area, but we still have Victor to deal with on our end. Now tell me what happened."

He turned away from me, facing in a direction opposite of myself. It was a bad habit of his that I was relatively certain he'd picked up from me. "I've killed four people since I went with Archie to Italy. The first was there, in Volterra. They weren't going to let us leave unless I proved myself to them. Honestly, of the four, she's the only one I regret killing. She was an innocent woman and didn't deserve to die like that. The other three... The first was a drug dealer, and the other two... Well, they weren't nice people."

I tilted my head to side, needing more information. "And how do you know they weren't?"

"The way they smelled was malicious. I may not be able to sense emotions like Jessamine can or read minds like Edythe, but I still have my nose. I don't know what they liked to do. I don't know if they were wife-beaters, thieves, rapists, murderers... my sense of smell couldn't tell me that. I suppose it's even possible that they never did anything and just had those types of thoughts all the time." He paused briefly. "I suppose they could have even been coroners that just really enjoyed their jobs. I don't know. I actually don't want to know."

I really wanted to cross my arms over my chest in a show of displeasure, too bad they were already there. "Because then you'd humanize your victims and you don't want to do that."

To be continued...

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part X~

What I found at the border made me close my eyes for a moment. Beau was kneeling with head bowed and his eyes closed in supplicant compliance. I wanted to scream at him to get the hell up. I didn't. 

Instead I took a calming breath and continued my walk until I was standing directly in front of him.

"No," I said firmly. Angrily. 

He opened his eyes, staring up at me with blood red irises. I could see the plea in his eyes for something I was unwilling to give him. I wouldn't do it. I couldn't.

I reached down, taking his hands and pulling on them hard. It took him a moment, but he finally stood up.

It didn't make the plea go away from his eyes. 

So I said it again. Just to make sure he understood. "No." My voice even more adamant this time.

Then I pulled him forward, stepping backwards so he could join me on my side of the old border.

"It won't happen, Beau. So forget it."

"Julie..." He shook his head, the movement frustrated. "Do you not see my eyes?"

They'd be impossible for me to not see. "Yes, I do."

"Then you know what that means, and you already told me once that I wasn't a monster because I'd never killed someone. Obviously, that has changed."

"I also told you we'd reevaluate if you ever made a mistake. I didn't tell you that I'd condemn you to death for it," I snapped, starting to get seriously pissed off at my friend.

"It wasn't some accidental slip-up, Jules," he said it softly, a dangerously cold note to his voice that I'd never heard before.

I looked at him in suspicion. I let go of his hands and crossed my arms over my chest as I moved over to lean against a nearby tree. "Okay, why did you do it then?"

I silently begged to whatever god was out there that he wasn't going to say something that would make me have to kill him.

To be continued...

Who are The Brotherhood?

So, since my writing is fanfiction, I - like most writers - occasionally like to add my own spin.

In this case, it's one of the oldest spins I ever embraced. My first published fanfic was Five Years Later. It is no longer posted. It wasn't, however, the first piece of work I started writing. The piece of work I first started writing was called Alice, which was supposed to be Alice's full story, from her time in the asylum, to waking up as a vampire, to meeting Jasper, up through the entire Twilight saga and beyond. 

Very early in this story, I introduced John, the doctor in the asylum that turned Alice. In spite of the fact that John was killed very early in the story, I wanted to know his story. 

His story took effect in a spin-off from Alice called Angel's Sisterhood. It was about a group of nine women that had been turned over the last five to six hundred years. All of them saved by John. Angel was the nickname they gave John. 

Very little is actually known about the person who turned Alice, as per the Twilight Saga. The only things that are mentioned is that he was an unnamed staff member who befriended Alice. And that James referred to him as being old. When it comes to vampires, there are two types of old. They either look old - as in they were changed late in life - or they've been a vampire for a very long time.

I've always seen James as being relatively smart, in spite of his ego getting him killed. So that leads me to believe the meaning would be the latter.

I know that since I originally wrote that work, there have been two fan-made movies that were featured in Storytellers that showed the person who turned her as being the groundskeeper and at least one named him as Kumboh. These were fan-made though, so officially we still don't know anything about the person who made her. There are many reasons why the groundskeeper wouldn't make sense in my mind... I could write an entire segment on it. I won't.

But after I started writing this spin-off, Angel's Sisterhood, they made appearances in almost all of my longer fanfictions. 

Since Life and Death and the continuation I'm writing are Gender-Swaps to the original Twilight Saga. In my mind, I saw John's mate - who had originally died over seventeen hundred years ago in Angel's Sisterhood - Cerulean as being the one that survived instead of John. The Brotherhood would therefore be the men she turned and saved. 

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part IX~

"My whole body aches," Colette said.

I flinched, but said softly, "It's your body preparing for the change to shifter, Cole."

She'd seen me turn when I'd jumped in to save her life from Victor, so she knew what I was already, and in the last three weeks she'd shot up over a foot in height. It didn't look right on my thirteen year old cousin. She still looked like a kid, except now she looked like an extremely tall awkward kid, but I prepared her for what was coming anyway, knowing that she deserved to know. 

"And I can choose your pack or Sam's, correct?" 

"Yes."

Just then there was ruckus in the nearby trees and I turned to check, surprised to see Quilla half tumble out of the trees a moment later, still yanking her shirt into place. 

"Quilla, what's going on?"

"Beau's at the old border." 

I blinked in shock. "Why?"

"I..." She bit her lip. "He asked for Samantha. I was halfway to finding her when I thought about how pissed off you'd be if I actually did that. I think you need to go get him before Paula or Jaelyn see him."

"Why did he want Samantha?" I could think of exactly one reason why he'd wait at the old border and ask for her, and I needed to know if I was correct or not. 

"I don't know but... his eyes are red." She shrugged. 

I opened my mouth, about to say a very nasty word before I remember my thirteen year old cousin. I closed my mouth. "Why don't you tell Colette what you like about being a shifter. I'll go deal with it."

"Err... sure." Quilla agreed. 

I stomped past her into the forest before I started to run. She hadn't told me exactly where Beau was waiting at, but I could take a guess. Some people were predictable. And since the first time he'd crossed to meet me that day when I originally shifted, he always crossed at that same spot. As I neared the spot, I slowed to a walk, smelling him from the wind. 

To be continued...

A Black Decision - A Missing Moment Serial

A Black Decision

~Part VIII~

In the three weeks that followed, I found a kinship with the Cullens I hadn't expected. Each and every one of them had a unique personality and an intriguing view of life.

Carine was a brilliant doctor with an expertise that one could only truly gain by being over three hundred years old. She showed me the paintings of her history. I'd been especially intrigued by the painting of her with the ones called the Volturi - I'd decided that they didn't really look like all that. I could take them... one at a time.

It was hard, almost impossible actually, to be near Earnest for any length of time and not miss my dad, George. He just had that kind of loving, devoted, and compassionate attitude that made me think of my father. It made it impossible for me to hate him.

It was possible that I liked Eleanor the most of all of them. She was, without a doubt, a giant, cuddly, grizzly bear. She'd managed to break my ribs both times she'd decided to hug me, for no apparent reason. She liked football, baseball, basketball, and whatever other sport she could find on their tv with fifteen hundred channels of nothing - her words, not mine. In spite of being a vampire that had slipped up more times than I'd wanted to hear - though she'd told me freely, laughing like I'd said the world's greatest joke when I had grimaced at what she told me - she was free and easy going. She enjoyed life just for the sake of living.

The deep contrast to her was Royal - in spite of them being very much in love, mates even. Where Eleanor was happy, Royal was bitter. Where Eleanor was carefree, Royal was reserved. But Royal was also honest, blunt, and ultimately unconcerned with what anyone else thought about him. It was impossible for me not to like him, even as I totally got why Beau and him didn't get a long.

Archie varied between being constantly near me when I was there and completely gone. When I'd asked him what his deal was, he said I was the greatest mute button he'd ever met. I'd arched my eyebrow at that, but had ultimately let it slide. When a box filled with more brand new clothes than I'd ever seen before was randomly delivered to my house I hadn't needed anyone to tell me exactly who was responsible. I'd never met a guy - at least one that wasn't gay - that enjoyed fashion as much as Archie did.

Jessamine was the only one that I learned next to nothing about. She kept her distance from me, only asking questions or talking to me when she had something important to add. Still... if I didn't pay too much attention to the hundreds of scars that littered her body... I liked her.

In fact, I got along with all of them, even Edythe... something that seriously bugged me. Still, as the month was approaching it's end, I noticed that Edythe didn't look like she was going to chase Beau - and that fact pissed me off.

Then, twenty-three days after I'd told Edythe that either she followed out in a month or I would, everything changed...

To be continued...